NURTURING RELATIONSHIP

Quality of your relationship with any person largely determines whether you will receive any Positive response or support from that person. At work, if your personal rapport or relation-ship with your boss or a colleague is good, then They will support you –help you to perform better work in peaceful atmosphere with millennium of hassles. Even the most capable fail in a hostile environment. On the other hand even a mediocre\ Executive may make to the top because of his positive relationships with his bosses, peers and his Subordinates. Example of highly qualified and brilliant engineers and doctors failing in life are all round us. While many university toppers struggle in their lives. A few backbenchers rise far above Expectations. In such instances the individual’s relationship building skills have a significant Contribution to their growth and achievements. The importance of building warm and deep relationships does not need to be over emphasized. It is a must to be able to live in peace and in joy-the state everyone longs to be in. To progress in life, one needs the support and co-operation of many support persons. When you Are very thirsty, a glass of cold water served by a peon, servant or a hotel waiter can make all The difference in your mental state. Willing support of your telephone or computer operator can Be of great value, Building relationships requires understanding of basics of human nature –why people behave as they do and how you can make them behave happily as you wish them to do. it calls for firm Belief in the goodness of human values, one cannot build lasting relationships based on falsehood And putting on an act and cheating .by use of such approach, one may appear to achieve short Term gains but in the long term only honest and genuine approach of giving, caring, loving Kindness, good manners and courtesy works. Building rich and deep relationship means developing humane orientation in approach to others. It demands more attention to the mental needs of those who are small and dependant. Those who Cannot command are the ones who need to be given special attention and care. Important peoples VIPs, bosses and customers are not at your mercy, you need them more than they need you. You Don’t have to learn how to behave with them, every intelligent person knows how that. Which Employee dares to ignore his employer and disrespect him? Such are high-risk areas. Good manners and courtesies are the basic skills expected of all people who are to sell goods or services as a profession. One would employ a rude and impolite salesman at his own company’s peril. But we generally seems to forget that we all are sales people one way or the others. Are we not selling our ideas, hopes and dreams all the time to our near and dear ones? A son needs to sell to his father his need to have money for his clothes and pocket expenses. And the father needs to sell to his son the importance of attention to studies and getting into the right Stream. The boss needs to sell to his workers the needs to sell to his workers the need for more Production for added profits and the employees needs to sell their need for more money to meet Their family’s needs. Selling is a full time activity for all of us whether we like it or not, if we are poor in this we slog If we excel in this art, we grow stronger, richer and happier by the day. Let us now look at some of the skills we need to develop and some of the traits we need to avoid To be able to build relationship. . Smiling to increase your face value, acceptability and to build bridges with others for more Meaningful interactions to follow. . Good manners common courtesies and kindness are the essential ingredients of good Relations. ‘Please’. ‘Kindly’. ‘Thank you’ ‘sorry ‘ ‘can I help you’ etc. are very powerful Expressions. Their use can make life much more delightful’ . Divorcing your egotism and replacing your “I” ness for more of “u” ness and some “w” Ness. Looking at situations from others point of view and putting yourself in other’s Shoes, ability to treat others the way you like to be treated yourself are valuable attitudes. . Making others a part of your plans and making them aware of what is in it for them and Taking genuine interest in them. .Trying to like others and giving them due recognition and importance and not treating any person like dirt. Remember every person is a king in his own territory stops where his nose starts. . Respecting others opinions and points of view even those who are quite contrary to your own long held and validated beliefs. . Adopting a giving attitude and consciousness rather than a taking one. Asking yourself As to what you can do for your customer or company than what you want from them. It Is the law of nature that you will receive what you deserve and no one can deny you Your rightful due –whether it is money , comfort or love. As you sow, so shall you reap, We may make our living by what we take but we make our life by what we give. Avoiding criticism, arguments and all negativity, eliminating all diseases of mind like fear, anger Revenge, arrogance, prejudice, lust etc. they hurt the person who carries and nurtures them More than the person to whom they are directed. Avoiding anger at all costs, converting your frustrations and making them your valuable assets Making your anger work for you and not against you. An angry person hurts others and gets Hurts himself. Trust begets trust. Trusting others to become trust worthy. Sense of humor- ability to laugh at life’s most ugly jokes and your own self can be a great Morale boosters in trying times. Humors can be a valuable part of your personality, being Sensitive to the needs, feelings and expectations of others. Living in the present. Past is dead and buried-never to come back again. Future is still in Womb of time –unborn and uncertain –present is now and yours –a gift of god that is why It is called P R E S E N T. Accept it gratefully, acknowledge it gracefully and make the Best of it for yourself, your family, your company, profession, and for your community Your town, your city your country and the humanity. Last but not the least, becoming genuine human beings that you are meant to be. Use your Heart as you will use your mind and intellect. “ To be born a gentleman is an accident , but to die a gentleman is an achievement .”

Kaanak srivastava I.a.s

THINK CORRECTLY

Thinking Correctly : Lessons from Indian Epics :

Raja Dashratha was a great king .His commitments to Rani kaikeyi landed him in a big mess of his Own making because he did not think of the simplest ways to think the thinkable and unthinkable Through to get out of the mess. Instead of thinking, he began brooding: Let us imagine “kya scene tha!” Kaikeyi was a good queen but unfortunately her thinking went hay- Wire because of manthra who did not think outside her box! Now, if I were dashrath, I would have gone into my thinking kurukhetra and brought to my mental Screen several alternatives and would have held several discussions with my ‘birbals’ and ‘Krishna’s’. And possibly, I would have made a proposal to kaikeyi that ran like this: A. Dear kaikeyi, as a Raghuvanshi I will follow the promises I have made to you. My karma as a king requires me to call Bharat to ayodhya and then send ram to exile… “ Well, it may have worked or not worked, agreed, But falling into brooding was not the right thing to do. Think about it! Since Raja Dashratha, s days, we have not been using the capacity of our minds fully. it is estimated that on an average we use only 10 percent of our mental capacity .if so why, not think and put yourself in the shoes Of dashratha. Rama, kaikeyi manthra and so on, Think.. Do you on your team have any manthra? Or a kaikeyi (a manager) who has a manthra as a secretary or assistant, or as his or her right hand man or woman? Lax man ….was a good brother, a very good brother. But he was quick to anger and slow to think! When suparnakha was teasing him, why did he have to cut her nose and create problems (never underestimate? Any one) If I were him, I would have run away into the jungles with my cap on. Another time when bharat Was coming to return the throne to \Rama, it was lax man who got excited so quickly that he started Shooting his arrows and Ram had to order him to wait and find out first what was in the mind of Bharat.Logical.commonsensical, God thinking.

Now Ravana was a very wise man. The ten wisest heads were on his shoulders; he was not wearing is thinking cap when suparnakha came crying! Ravana, drunk with power did not ask her the right Questions and believed his cunning sister. May be if we were in his situation, you and I would have gone Across to Rama and Laxmana to ask why Laxmana cut her nose off? The moral of us is simple Thinkable and unthinkable, and use our mind to its full capacity instead of taking shortcuts and creating Long-term problems. Dhobi. Look out for dhobis in your company. Department, section, in your family or social circle! What did he do? He asked a stupid question to raise doubts in the minds of the people, thus creating a Dharamsankat for Rama who did the unthinkable thing of sending his pregnant wife into the forest And there were some dhobis on hand to make mischief; I was able to contain the damage by putting on My thinking cap. Vibhishana… do you create him in your department, company section or your family? Ravana did it And called for its own end. If had Ravana had listened to his own brothers. Kumbhkaran and Vibhishan, and kept his thinking cap on, and not become stubborn, he might have gone to Rama And with a simple ‘sorry’ returned sita, and things would have been good for everyone.

Now, you Can also think of simple ways to solve problems in your job or in your family. Try mentally wearing a Chinese mustache and not a Rajputani one! Ra van listened to his chamchas (Yes, yes sir two bags full wala). Don’t forget the concept of KFP (kee pharak painda) (what difference Does it make) saying “sorry” requires courage, conviction and self –confidence. This is possible when During your ‘think times’ you can think thinkable and unthinkable. Sita…. well, why did she ask for the golden deerskin for Rama to practice the meditation on? Why did She cross the Laxmanrekha? Possibly she was not wearing her thinking cap to ask herself thinkable And unthinkable so as to get a better picture of the situation. She really nagged Rama to run after the deer , And in it lies a big lesson for all of us, especially for wives! But she used her thinking cap very well by Agreeing to go in for agnipariksha (self audit) instead of throwing tantrums because Rama had he gall to Think she was unfaithful! We can go on and on but to me The Ramayana is an epic, which can help us Do mental exercises as well as point out the right directions to in which we should lead our lives To reach our chosen goals.

Hanumanjee… stands for loyalty, faithfulness, sincerity and initiative. Each one of us is a Ram and A Hanuman, boss and subordinates, boss and secretary, father and son. And so on When Ram sent Hanumanjee for sanjeevni and when Hanumanjee reached his destination, imagine kya scene tha? Hanumanjee had never seen sanjeevni, he was not given any specifications; there was no phone no fax He had two alternatives to use his initiative and imagination or to fly back to Ram and complain that He was not given the right directions. Hanumanjee thought for a while .it flashed on his mental screen That. Success needs no. Explanation and failure has none, and he went ahead and picked up the Mountain and flew back with it, hoping that sanjeevni was growing on it. Now, in today’s world You and I have to be Hanumanjee, or at least get one or train one or inspire one to do things or get Things done. Hanumanjee inspires me to do my best after thinking the thinkable and unthinkable And hoping that the boss (you the readers, my students) will like it.

Another inspiration for e from hanumanjee is that he did not know his potential and, therefore, whenever I am in doubt, I think of him and imagine someone spurring me on to do it and assuring me that I can Do. You and I cannot have a better “Dronacharya “ than Hanumanjee to remind us that we can do More than we think we are capable of. As was said earlier, we only use 100 percent of our minds and it Is our minds that make the difference.

M.S Oberoi of the oberoi chain comes to mind; he lost his Father at the age of one, sold shoes at his uncle’s shop and yet became a modern “Hanumanjee” In my professional eyes, know your potentials, my friends, and if you become hanumanjee, well you Are on your way to finding your “Rama” one day. Good luck. All of us get plenty of times like shaving time, getting ready, traveling, before going to sleep and so on. During my thinking times I empty my mind 60 to 70 percent and allow my ideas to come in Free for all! When I am on my throne or in front of my mirror I let my mind to towards thinkable And unthinkable, and once in a while some good idea starts to hatch. This process sometimes Produces agony and sometimes-pure ecstasy, and the outcome is my “brainchild”! All of us are capable of producing many brainchildren. Whether they are good are bad will depend Upon the concept of GIGO vs. BIBO! GIGO stands for good ideas in and good ideas out BIBO stands for: bad ideas in and bad ideas out.

Simple: is it or not? Now tell me if we all sit together and talk it over the thinkable and unthinkable – any situation Can be settled peacefully or not. ?

Kaanak srivastava i.a.s .

How to Avoid Stress

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Most stressful problems are really the absence of ideas,problems cause stress and abnormal blood pressure, so it is very logical that once we reduce our problems ,we should be able to reduce our stress and abnormality of blood pressure,incidently we cant avoid or eliminate problems unless we decide for the final exit,the very thought of this,itself is very stressful!

why do we have problems? well,roughly speaking,1/3 of our problems are there because we are alive and kicking; another 1/3 of our problems are created by ourselves,and the remaining 1/3 of our problems exist because of our laalach and izzat ( greed & ego ).

Now if we have a magic wand ,we can solve our problems ,we stupidly search for one when none exists !

what to do ? well ,I o not know at all,but i can tell you what i do !

Read again what i have said,and you will realize yourself that by merely understanding life and by reflecting on its problems ,you will be able to reduce your problems in focus.

It wont be done instantly ,slowly but steadily,one by one,take care of each problem by looking for simple,simple ideas to arrive at solutions.

Remember not to make "best" the enemy of "better" To solve silly problems,even the second or third best solution can be good enough.

In particular,when too many problems are causing you enormous stress and strain do the following:

1. Think ........ there must be a better way to solve these problems,it helps to remember the crow and jug story ! recall similar stories and incidents.

2. Ask ask ,ask..... from yourself and from others,how to do things,in better ways,Maybe certain things should not be done at all,or should be clubbed with other activities ! Dont forget that even stupid questions will get you intelligent and common sense answers.

3. Do it now! start doing it,Dont forget that the first step towars solving a problem is to begin.I agree that the first step is the most difficult one,but taking it will kill procrastination,a desease or a problem in itself,Ofcourse do not forget to prioritise your problems first,Those which are 'C' category jobs should be delegated to others, but do not forget to check and recheck till these get done.

What will people say ,

Most of the time we are stressful as we are always thinking about what people will say if we fail in our examinations,if we are badly dressed; if our hair is not well groomed;and so on.

well not that anyone else can do much about it,we have to do it for ourselves Let me help you. Never loose your selfrespect ,because if you loose it,you have lost all,one who cannot respect himself cannot expect to be respected by others.

Failure causes stress ...... lots of stress but for a wise man,failure is not falling down but staying down , failure is not the end of dreams .... it is only the begining, Failure teaches succes.If you are open to new ideas and consider failure to be stepping stones to succes. A man can fail many times but he is not a real failure until he begins to blame anyone else. stress leads to failure.

There was one man in this world who beleived in all that i have said above,and who has become a "lighthouse" for millions of stresfull people who followed him.His name was Abraham Lincoln. Just have a look on his resume.

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Age 22...... Failed legislature and was defeated.

Age 23...... ran for legislature and was defeated.

Age 24...... failed again in buisness.

Age 25..... elected to legislature.

Age 26..... sweetheart died.

Age 27..... had a nervous breakdown.

Age 29.... defeated for speaker.

Age 31 .... defeated for elector.

Age 34..... defeated for congress.

Age 37.... elected to congress.

Age 39..... defeated for congress

Age 46... defeated for senate

Age 47.... defeated for vice president

Age 49.... defeated for senate

Age 51..... Elected for president of the united states of america....

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Abraham lincoln did not bother about what people said about himwhen he failed. Even when he became president people still criticised him, but instead of becoming stressful he expressed his deathless line .... " No man is good enough to be president,but someone has to be ".

Lincoln would certainly have beleived in the fact that a failure is an oppurtunity for a man who has kept his selfrespect intact. Now, thinking the lincoln way and trying to be happy will give you happiness while you are going about acheiveing it. you do not have to worry what others think about your failure! they are too busy thinking about there own failures, Each steps towards succes can give happines if you are trying to do it bit by bit,creatively as well as imaginatively.

Creative thinking can be done when your selfimage is intact. you can face people as well as other auditors in life,your self image is in your mind.your self image improves when you have good family relations, good moral standards,good freinds, enough cash when you love what you do for a living , follow the essentials of your religion, and so on,Nurture your self esteem by helping other people.

Myself image is very important to me remain stressfree! I make sure that i feel good aboutmyself most of the time,I acheive it by reminding myself of my own succes over the years, and keeping a list of succes handy! what i think of myself at any moment depends upon my own thinking in my mind and my own feelings in my heart.

Do what you think is right and know that it was right.

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kaanak srivastava

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MY SALUTE TO SHRI Y.S.RAJSHEKHAR REDDY

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This is my first article in my blog which I am dedicating to shri y.rajshekhar reddy ,the Andhra chief minister who was formerly know as Yeduguri Sandinti Rajasekhara Reddy & popularly known as Y.S.R. died recently in helicopter crash. Its realy a great loss not only to the people of Andhra pradesh but to the entire nation.

4rth September 2009, was a black day for the entire nation when this news was spread by the media agencies reporting that the helicopter had been found crashed on top of Rudrakonda Hill, 40 nautical miles from KURNOOL. The state government later confirmed this also and all five persons aboard were pronounced dead at the scene. Whole nation was shocked to hear this news that y.s.r sahab is no more… and we have lost a great leader. I myself was quite shocked after hearing this news about y.s. sahab and for a moment was stunned and could not think any thing else … its not necessary that after meeting a person personally only you can find him good or bad, some personalities are so high and impressive that you cant turn your back and have to bow you head infront of these great personalities and y.s sahab was one of them whose administration was so powerful and honestly being implemented by him .y.s.r sahab was not a politician , but was a true leader and hero of the people of Andhra pradesh. y.s.r sahab was fondly called y.r.sahab by the people , he was a doctor . He graduated with a degree in medical science from Mahadevappa Rampure Medical College (MRMC), Gulbarga University, in Karnataka and completed his House Surgeonship at S.V. Medical College, Tirupati, Andhra Pradesh. He was the elected leader of the House Surgeon's Association at S.V. Medical College, Tirupati.. Y. S. Rajasekhara Reddy practiced medicine for sometime in his native Kadapa District. The hospital his father built for him at Pulivendula is still running. His family also built and ran a degree college and a polytechnic college at Pulivendula which was later handed over to the Loyola Group of Educational Institutions. Another junior college at Simhadripuram, a small town in the vicinity of Pulivendula, is run by his family. He was elected to the Lok Sabha from Kadapa constituency four times and was elected to the Andhra Pradesh State Assembly six times from Pulivendula constituency. Reddy was the leader of the opposition in the Andhra Pradesh State Assembly for five years. As an MLA he was influential in obtaining water from the Tungabhadra River for the Pulivendula Branch Canal (PBC) and fought for projects like RTPP (Rayalaseema Thermal Power Plant) at Muddanur and Proddatur Milk Foods and its ancillaries. As a chief minister he has worked sincerely for the people of Andhra pradesh . He has initiated a variety of programs that influence the Economy of Andhra Pradesh and for the benefit of the common people and farming community. Prominent among them are: JalaYagnam – A large-scale program to construct more than 70 pending irrigation projects in the state to improve irrigation facilities to the farmers, with a targeted irrigation to 1.2 Crore acres of land.

• Free power supply for farmers for 7 hours a day.
• Rajiv Arogya Shree – A health insurance and emergency services scheme for rural masses where the government pays the entire price of any surgery up to 200,000 rupee and does not require people to pay any premium.
• Pavala Vaddi — a program that provides loans to people at 3% per year so as to encourage them to take up small scale businesses and entrepreneurship primarily targeted at rural women.
• Indiramma illu — a program for construction of houses for the rural masses by charging a small amount and the government the remaining amount.
• Rs 2/KG of rice scheme.
• Increase in the minimum support price for rice.
• Reimbursement of full college fees for backward sections, reservations for minorities.

Apart from these schemes, his government stood as the role model in implementing the central governments flagship program – the NREGA

Y.S.R.sahab was a role model not only for Andhra pradesh but to whole nation. He was not ruling any state , but he was ruling in the heart of people . The sudden demise of y.s.r sahab is not only a great loss to Andhra pradesh but to whole nation. More than I lakh people were standing when his funeral possession took place on 5th of September 2009, The last rites were performed in his rural town in Pulivendla constituency. This is my first article in my blog and dedicated to shri y.s.r sahab. I salute and pay my homage to this great hero who is ruling and will forever rule in the hearts of people.

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Kaanak srivastava

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